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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144472">A Small Logistical Error</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytimeconsumingsidehobby/pseuds/mytimeconsumingsidehobby'>mytimeconsumingsidehobby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, Master of Death Harry Potter, Small crossover references at the end, but I'm posting it anyway, i don't know what this is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:36:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytimeconsumingsidehobby/pseuds/mytimeconsumingsidehobby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Death makes a mistake and there are a lot of Harry Potters running around.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Small Logistical Error</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just a random little idea I had but didn't have too much to go on. So now it's a short little things that skips a bunch and is maybe coherent. I don't know. Anyone wants to take this idea and run with it go ahead.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Death had never paid much attention to the goings-on of the various mortal realms. He showed up when absolutely necessary, and had his legions of servants take care of the century to century tasks. Every now and then an entire version of a universe imploded (or, in one particularly memorable instance, exploded), and he would involve himself more directly, but for the most part his presence was unnecessary.</p>
<p>And then he made the hallows.</p>
<p>It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Or at least that’s what he had told Fate and Destiny over the loud cackling of Chaos in the background.</p>
<p>And really, it would have been fine. Except he failed to take into account the number of times universes split apart. It had never truly concerned him before, so he hadn’t given it much heed, but in this case it turned out to be quite relevant to him.</p>
<p>See, he had made the hallows in precisely one universe. But then centuries passed in that little universe and apparently that was enough time for it to replicate and split itself many times. An exponential number of times, in fact.</p>
<p>And so he was forced to do damage control.</p>
<p>Except with an exponential number of universes, and not <em>quite</em> trusting his servants to handle this thoroughly enough, he may have missed one or two…</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>They came at the same time. <em>Exactly </em>the same time. So much at the same time, in fact, that Time declared there was no way to declare one of them the first.</p>
<p>And so Death had two masters.</p>
<p>Karma was ever so amused.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>It worked out well enough for a while. Both were rather lax when it came to Death’s plans on their behalf, and he was only called occasionally to assist them in their own schemes.</p>
<p>It was fine, really.</p>
<p>And then Death was distracted, focusing on two universes that had somehow merged, leaving Destiny berating Chaos loudly, and leaving him with quite the mess to clean up.</p>
<p>And in that moment of distraction, he made a slight clerical error. That’s all it was, really. Just a small little note to the servants he had left in charge as to which portals to open for his masters on their arrival back to his domain.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“Alright, so this is new.”</p>
<p>Harry stared at the person who looked remarkably like him yet didn’t seem concerned. That was new. Usually his little baby selves were rather taken aback at his appearance.</p>
<p>The other him frowned. “You don’t seem shocked. Why are you not shocked?”</p>
<p>Harry huffed. “When you’ve lived as long as I have, not much surprises you anymore.” Except this, but he wasn’t going to show it.</p>
<p>Other him laughed. “You’re funny. You’re what, seventeen?”</p>
<p>Harry snorted. “If you’re talking centuries, then maybe. Even then I think it’s getting closer to thirty.”</p>
<p>Other him gave him a funny look. “Well this really is different then,” he said. “Did one of us go back in time? I don’t remember doing that, but then again I can’t be expected to pay attention all the time.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” Harry blurted out. “I don’t know why Death doesn’t seem to get that. It’s not like he’s any better.”</p>
<p>Other him snorted back. “Of course he isn’t.”</p>
<p>They both stopped.</p>
<p>“You know Death too?” They both asked.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“So let me get this straight. You’re the Master of Death?”</p>
<p>Harry nodded. “And you are too?”</p>
<p>Other him nodded. “So what, are there two different Deaths? How would that even work? And if so how did we both end up here?”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Death was tired. Technically he shouldn’t be able to get tired, but he had witnessed the feeling and had decided that’s what he was going to feel now.</p>
<p>He really just wanted to go visit one of those nice little worlds where every being died on schedule and they didn’t have those silly little… Oh, except his masters had both told him to stop calling wars silly little things. So those… small… activities that resulted in much untimely death…</p>
<p>Anyway, he had declared himself to be tired and in need of a vacation. He had witnessed a few of those as well and thought they looked absolutely lovely. Of course when he had tried to send his masters on vacations it hadn’t worked out so well, but it was the thought that counts. At least that’s what Magic had said. Karma had disagreed, but he really wasn’t sure who to believe in this instance.</p>
<p>Then he felt the tugging. He was being summoned.</p>
<p>He located the particular universe his master was on and appeared there no significant amount of time later. Time couldn’t tell him what to do.</p>
<p>He was met by two unimpressed faces, and in that moment he realized that somewhere along the line he had made a grave error.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“So I’m not in trouble?”</p>
<p>“Oh we’re quite upset,” the master on the right said.</p>
<p>“But we’ve decided to use this to our own advantage now.”</p>
<p>Death hoped the looks on both their faces weren’t due to anything they were planning for him.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“The usual?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“Babynapping before or after Gringotts then?”</p>
<p>“Normally I’d say after but in this case I think before might go well.”</p>
<p>“Agreed. It’s always nice to take care of Gringotts business in one go.”</p>
<p>“Their faces?”</p>
<p>“Obviously.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>When you have lived so many lifetimes with no end in sight, it becomes necessary to find amusement where you can for the sake of your continued sanity. Unfortunately for the goblins of Gringotts, they were the providers of entertainment on this particular morning, as two twenty-something wizards claimed multiple lordships each, including the seats left by all four of the founders, Merlin, and Morgana; were <em>both</em> revealed to be the Master of Death, which was something no goblin present wanted to spend too long contemplating the logistics of; and gained custody over the most famous toddler in wizarding Britain.</p>
<p>Gringotts closed early that day for the first time in one hundred and eighty three years.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>The two older Harry Potters looked at the one three year old Harry Potter.</p>
<p>“I’ve never actually done this before,” the newly declared Lord Slytherin-Hufflepuff-Emrys-Gamp stated.</p>
<p>“How in Merlin’s name have you managed that?” The other Master of Death, Lord Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Peverell-Le Fay asked.</p>
<p>Emrys shrugged. “Anytime I made it back to this time I just merged with my younger self.”</p>
<p>Peverell shuddered. “I hate doing that.”</p>
<p>They both looked at the three year old playing happily, probably for the first time in his life.</p>
<p>“Did we cover everything then?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think so.”</p>
<p>“So now we wait?”</p>
<p>“Now we wait.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>
  <em>Eight years later:</em>
</p>
<p>Harry watched his two uncles glare each other down. It was the fourth time this week already so he just rolled his eyes and reached for the last muffin.</p>
<p>“You know, when we go to Diagon Alley today I’m fairly certain I’m supposed to be the child,” he said.</p>
<p>“Yes, why don’t you act like the adult for once in your lifetimes,” Uncle Peverell said to Uncle Emrys, eyes never leaving and glare never subsiding.</p>
<p>“Just because I’m not falling for your ploy to get me to take the cloak does not mean I’m not an adult,” Emrys said back, glare just as fixed.</p>
<p>“Says the one who willingly went through puberty again.”</p>
<p>“What does that have to do with anything?”</p>
<p>“So now that I’m going to school does this mean you two are going to stop your little competition to see who can rid of the Master of Death title first?” Harry said, interrupting their little back and forth.</p>
<p>Now both his Uncles were staring at him.</p>
<p>“What? It’s not like you’re subtle.”</p>
<p>They continued staring. He was used to the weird unblinking stare they were both capable of by now.</p>
<p>“Plus Death tried to give me a pet dementor on my seventh birthday.” No need to explicitly remind them that Death had succeeded. </p>
<p>And now his uncles were back to glaring at each other.</p>
<p>“I thought you said you obliviated him,” Peverell accused.</p>
<p>“I thought <em>you</em> had done it,” Emrys shot back.</p>
<p>Harry sat back to enjoy the show. Reminding them about Gary was a risk, but he was fairly confident they wouldn’t actually do anything to hurt him.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Harry sat on the train, his cat Boudicea settled comfortably at his side. Honestly he only had a cat because his two uncles both admitted they had never had one. And Gary liked her, which was a bonus.</p>
<p>He still wasn’t quite sure what he going to do with the dementor while at school, but for now Gary was headed to Azkaban on a bit of a holiday. And to keep an eye on Sirius Black because his uncles were forgetful and he didn’t have a great way to get Pettigrew until he was at school. He hadn’t really wanted to remind his uncles either because so far they hadn’t done a great job of remembering that he wasn’t three anymore and could actually follow what they were saying and he didn’t want to accidentally alert them to that fact.</p>
<p>Then a redheaded boy walked into his compartment, accompanied by a rat.</p>
<p>The boy tried a little spell, which wasn’t really a spell, and Harry took the opportunity to stun the rat.</p>
<p>He felt a little bad that the boy thought he had killed his own pet, but he would get the boy an owl or something like that tomorrow. It’d be fine, probably.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Death reluctantly followed the tugging of his summons.</p>
<p>“What did you tell him?” one of his masters demanded.</p>
<p>“About what?”</p>
<p>“Harry sorted into <em>Hufflepuff</em>.”</p>
<p>“And that’s… bad?” Death recalled both of them doing the same on at least one or two occasions.</p>
<p>“Of course not. But he says your plan worked.”</p>
<p>“He said he wanted to make friends?” Death really wasn’t sure where this was going.</p>
<p>“He wrote that it would be the easiest house to take over the world from.”</p>
<p>“Is that not the same thing?” Death was really confused now.</p>
<p>Both masters stared at him. He waited.</p>
<p>“Alright, hypothetically speaking, is it possible for us to, you know, retire?”</p>
<p>The other master shot the master who had just spoken a confused look.</p>
<p>“I do not have the ability to dictate that,” Death said. He was positive he had explained this a few times already. After every lifetime, in fact. For both of them.</p>
<p>“Yes but, what about if we have a replacement?”</p>
<p>The other master perked up now.</p>
<p>“I suppose…” Death began.</p>
<p>“Alright, you can go now.”</p>
<p>And so he did.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Harry read over the letter again and laughed. He was surprised it had taken them this long to work out that little solution. Of course he hadn’t worked it out either, but then again he was eleven and they were not. Living more centuries than he had years should have given them some sort of advantage.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright?” Susan asked. Harry liked Susan. She was nice.</p>
<p>He nodded. “My uncles are just trying to figure out how to leave everything to me so they can retire.”</p>
<p>A few older students who knew who his uncles were coughed and choked a bit on their breakfast. And he hadn’t even mentioned the whole Master of Death thing.</p>
<p>“But you’re eleven,” Susan stated plainly.</p>
<p>“Yes but it’ll take them the next decade to plan it out, so there’s not really anything to worry about. It fits in my timeframe just fine,” Harry answered.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Despite having nabbed the rat on the train, it took him a few weeks to be able to do anything about it.</p>
<p>He knew there was a reason he meant to bring an owl with him.</p>
<p>School owls just couldn’t cut it for some things, and transporting murderers to the Ministry of Magic was one of those things. Besides, school owls weren’t always the best at waiting for a reply.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Sirius Black looked at his godson’s two uncles.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, could you repeat your names for me?”</p>
<p>Yeah, that’s what he thought he had heard.</p>
<p>Maybe he really had gone crazy.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Harry whistled as he walked down the hall. Six weeks in and everything was going according to plan.</p>
<p>“Potter! Five points from Hufflepuff for that obnoxious noise.”</p>
<p>Yep. Everything according to plan.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>Sirius looked between the two immortals warily. “Are you sure you know how to raise a child?”</p>
<p>“Mmhmm. Why do you ask?” Peverell asked absently.</p>
<p>Sirius could now understand why they used the names they did. Having three Harrys running around would be even more confusing if they were all trying to sue the same name.</p>
<p>“Because Harry wrote that his plans are coming along and that you can cross ‘gaining Severus Snape’s loyalty’ off your list.”</p>
<p>Peverell frowned. “I knew I was forgetting something.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>
  <em>Three years later:</em>
</p>
<p>“Do I want to know?” Severus asked, already knowing the answer to that question, as it was almost always no, he did not.</p>
<p>“I think having lived through so many lifetimes they just forget. Honestly it must be hard to do the same things over and over again. At some point it’s just going through the motions. I mean, you’re bound to forget something or other at some point.”</p>
<p>“And you’re telling me they forgot dragons,” Sirius said skeptically.</p>
<p>“Forget dragons, Black,” Severus hissed, “they failed to mention the entire bloody tournament.”</p>
<p>“Language,” Harry said, though his attention was already on something else. “Hey do you think Gary can come watch?”</p>
<p>Severus shuddered and Sirius looked upwards as if to search for strength.</p>
<p>“I don’t think dementors would be particularly welcomed at Hogwarts, no.”</p>
<p>“They would have been there last year,” Harry said with a frown. “Besides, it’s just the one.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t bring dementors to Hogwarts,” Severus pleaded.</p>
<p>Harry shrugged. “Hey, can dementors use pensieves?”</p>
<p>As neither wizard had a good response for that, Harry came up with his own solution.</p>
<p>“I’ll just go ask Death.”</p>
<p>Sirius and Severus both gulped and left before they could be dragged into anything further.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“Oh, did we forget something again?” Emrys asked, looking at Harry.</p>
<p>“Triwizard tournament, and Sirius said to mention the dragons.”</p>
<p>“Oh right, let me find the book… ah, here it is. Page one hundred and eighteen has some solutions for that, I believe.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Uncle Emrys.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“Are they still following this plan?” Death asked.</p>
<p>Harry nodded. “They’re making a book. So far it’s been helpful, when they remember. Say, anything you want to add about their fourth years? The ones as me, I mean.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“Why do I get the feeling this is somehow akin to a parent telling baby stories?”</p>
<p>Severus looked at Sirius in horror. “Why would you even make that association?”</p>
<p>Sirius shuddered. “You’re right. That is very wrong.”</p>
<p>They both watched from the best place they could (as far away as they could manage) as Harry chatted away happily with Death, who was regaling the boy with tales of his masters’ previous lifetimes. The ones he had paid attention to, anyway.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“So… Voldemort…”</p>
<p>“Oh, right,” Uncle Peverell started. “I think we took care of it all, except the ring…” He turned around. “HEY EMRYS,” he shouted, “DID YOU GET THE CUP YET?”</p>
<p>“OF COURSE I DID,” came the shouted reply. “I’M NOT INCOMPETENT.”</p>
<p>“And the ring?” Harry asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, right. Well we thought it best you do that one, see. Resurrection stone and all that.”</p>
<p>“Fair enough. Do you think I have time now?”</p>
<p>“When does the last task start?”</p>
<p>“An hour.”</p>
<p>“Plenty of time then.”</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>
  <em>Two years later:</em>
</p>
<p>Harry sat on the train, headed home from his sixth year at Hogwarts. Only one year left at school, and he was actually ahead of schedule, the evidence of which sat twirling in his hand. He’d have to get used to the Elder Wand’s length, but overall it was already proving quite handy to have around.</p>
<p>He had almost the entire school, barring the headmaster, of course, as followers, as Severus liked to say, allies, as Sirius liked to say, or minions as Remus preferred to call them.</p>
<p>Neither Severus nor Sirius particularly liked to be called minions, but they had stopped protesting the term, at least out loud.</p>
<p>Only a few weeks more and he would officially be of age. One more year and then he would graduate, bringing many of his closest followers (aside from Severus, Sirius, and Remus of course), with him. Two more years after that and his Uncles were planning on leaving.</p>
<p>Death still hadn’t informed them of the fact that even if they managed to relinquish their Master of Death status, their immortality wasn’t going to change.</p>
<p>Harry really wanted to be there for that revelation. He had even selected the variety of popcorn he wanted to have on hand. He was good at making plans.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>The final strains of Happy Birthday finished, and Harry blew out the candles on his lovely little dragon cake. He wasn’t sure Azar would actually eat a piece, since cake wasn’t exactly standard dragon fare, but he did think she’d appreciate the tribute regardless.</p>
<p>Now that he was of age, he was able to apparate right to her with a piece. At least, without having to cover up his activities. It was so much faster to apparate with having to cast all sorts of wandless detection cover spells beforehand.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>
  <em>Three years later:</em>
</p>
<p>“Bye Uncle Emrys, bye Uncle Peverell. Thanks for raising me.”</p>
<p>Harry gave them each a big hug.</p>
<p>“Titles are all your now, kid,” Emrys said fondly. “Have fun.”</p>
<p>“Take over worlds sparingly,” Peverell said, as they walked off.</p>
<p>Death popped out a moment later. “Are they gone?”</p>
<p>Harry nodded. “You know you still have to tell them, right?”</p>
<p>Death pouted, or at least his equivalent of such. Harry was still working on reading ageless entity facial (or lack thereof) expressions.</p>
<p>“Do I have to?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Harry said firmly.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE STILL IMMORTAL?”</p>
<p>Death cringed a little at the volume. “It’s not that bad, really,” he began.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe after all that effort we’re still the Masters of Death,” the other one who was quieter and quickly becoming Death’s favorite second only to his new master said.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re not,” Death said quickly. “Not anymore. You’re just immortal.”</p>
<p>The previously yelling one turned to him. “Wait, does that mean no more reincarnation jobs?”</p>
<p>Death nodded.</p>
<p>“Or managing you?” the other one asked. Favorite state revoked.</p>
<p>“Is there somewhere you’d like me to send you?” Death offered, hoping they’d select quickly and leave.</p>
<p>“Any suggestions?” They both asked. It was still weird how they did that, technically the same person or no.</p>
<p>“Well, there’s this one set that’s been giving me a bunch of trouble,” Death said carefully.</p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“Well you see, there’s this being that keeps trying to…” Death couldn’t quite bring himself to say it.</p>
<p>Both immortals gestured for him to continue.</p>
<p>“Flirt with me,” he said quietly, trying to convey the horror of the notion in his words.</p>
<p>The two started laughing. Death was upset that his new master had said he couldn’t kick them into a planet-less universe.</p>
<p>“Oh this I’ve got to see,” one of them said.</p>
<p>Death felt relieved, or so he thought. He couldn’t remember if that was the right one or not.</p>
<p>“Well, have fun,” he said, opening up the correct portal.</p>
<p>The two laughed the entire way, but at least they made it through the portal.</p>
<p>••••••••••</p>
<p>
  <em>Somewhere in the multiverse:</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, you are the what now?”</p>
<p>“Master of Death. Both of us, actually.”</p>
<p>“But we’re retired,” the other one said.</p>
<p>Tony rubbed his eyes then looked around at the rest of the group to see if anyone else was going to help him out. Apparently not.</p>
<p>“So you’re two immortal wizards who are different versions of the same person, who both managed to become Master of Death at the same time, but now you’re retired, and you’re here to destroy a titan because he’s annoying Death.”</p>
<p>“Obliterate, actually.”</p>
<p>Tony failed to see a significant difference, but figured immortals were allowed their little distinctions. Internally he breathed in and counted to ten before speaking.</p>
<p>“Great, well where do we start?”</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure how he still managed to be at surprised by these sorts of things.</p>
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